My life is in shreds. I’ve lost some sense of morality. Severally have I contemplated suicide, last week being the last time I tried. I don’t believe I deserve to be forgiven.
This is my story: I’m a young woman in my mid 30s. I got married to a man who’s 55 years old. My husband is loving and caring. He’s in touch with current realities. He’s young in limb but in judgment he’s old. However, he travels a lot. Sometimes, I travel with him. We were the best couple in our vicinity.
My husband met me after he lost his wife. He has a son—the son of his late wife. He told me his story. I accepted him because he told me the truth. I never loved him at first; I wanted to make him my financier. I deceived him for 2 years. However, he got me straight into his warmth arms when my ex-boyfriend broke my heart. All my friends advised me to accept him(my husband). They liked him regardless of his age. At that moment he told me he knew I never loved him; he knew I had an active boyfriend yet he kept pushing, I fell head-over-heels in love with him.
We got married after 3 years—2 years of fake relationship, 1 year of courtship—because I wasn’t too sure. On the day of our wedding, my husband’s mother brought his son, he looked like my ex-boyfriend. I was shocked, but it was my wedding day, I didn’t need any distraction.
After the wedding, everything was settling down. Friends and families left. I was to settle in in my new home as we had plans to travel to Paris for our honeymoon. 2 weeks after our honeymoon, we returned to Nigeria. My husband brought back his son who stays with his mother(my husband’s mother). His son normally lives with my mother-in-law. Now, he(his son) is to stay with us since his dad(my husband) is remarried. We stay for 5 months and I started having some crazy feelings for the boy. He is 20 and well grown, muscular, tall and good looking. Again,he looks like my ex-boyfriend. We had a fight one day and I like the fact that he touched me. I later went to his room to plead with him to forgive me. As we were fighting, he saw some private parts of me. I think he liked it. 2 days later, I took his meal to his room, his father had traveled. We were both drunk because I took his meal with a bottle of alcoholic wine. And…we made love.
I’m not perfect. I know anyone who hears this story will blame me. This is the reason I need help. I later discovered that the boy I made love to several times I refused traveling with his father(my husband) is the son of my ex-boyfriend. My husband’s late wife was my ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend back in secondary school days. My ex-boyfriend is the biological father of the boy I made love to. My husband caught me and the young man after a tip off by the gatekeeper. He sent the young man back to his biological father—my ex-boyfriend. I’m currently with my parents. Urghhh, I just need help.
Please help me.
Anonymous.
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