How to Find a True Spouse

  It seems like advert placement finding a true spouse. With the world being a gobal village, the trend has changed. Traditionally,Many find love at different social gatherings , places of learning and/or recreation such as:
👉Church
👉Mosque
👉Business Events
👉Social Events,
👉Gymnasium
👉Cinema
👉Beaches and
👉Schools.

“True spouse” is not an inscription on the face. The character of a would-be spouse is not written on his/her face. Intelligence has not proven worthy in the discovery of a true spouse. Therefore, finding a true spouse requires wisdom and guidance.Today, the trend has changed. There have been celebrated cases of wedding success stories credited social media. It is very important to say that the percentage of spousal connection through social media have increased lately.

True love does not imply true spouse nowadays. This is the reason people marry whoever comes there ways when they have tried and failed to get a true (ideal)spouse. Whenever people make sentences like,”my spouse complements me”,please look inwards there’s the word TOLERANCE in their marriages. Factors connive to make many people compromise their ideals in marriages. These factors include lack of: finance, good job, and shelter. Others include continuous heartbreaks, failed relationship, family disapproval, clash of goals and interests.

Finding your true spouse however depends on what you want. You must know what works for you. Things you must know when finding your true spouse are:
👉Your core value.
Knowing your core values as a human being would determine how far you can go in your marriage with your spouse. A set of values include trustworthiness, honesty, cleanliness, godliness, financial smartness or intelligence, happiness, etc. These will help you to form your opinion on the kind of spouse you want.

👉It’s not all about you
When your relationship is self-centered, self-defense becomes naturally evident. You need to learn not to defend every bit of what you want because you cannot be always correct. For your spouse to have confidence in you, you must first show him how confident you are in him. It takes two to tango.

👉You must learn to make the “US-decision” against “ME-decision”.
In decision making, you don’t present yourself as an overbearing partner. Decisions regarding “hanging out”—including places to hangout, time to be spent there—financial disbursement and way of entertainment should not be solely made, except your would-be spouse permits that. Everything shouldn’t be centred around you. You should get your partner involved. Decisions should not be “ME-centred” but “US-centred”
👉Identify your partner's mission

This is where a lot of people get it wrong. Especially when it is difficult to know or read your partner’s mind. However, if your partner’s mission is to have sex and run away, there are signs which show such. Although, at times, the motive may be genuine but as time goes on, a genuine partner’s mission may change. Nonetheless, when a partner begins to hide some basic secrets like phone call logs, text messages, and  chats, the mission is suspicious. NOTE: This is not to say you should focus on checking your would-be spouse’s phone from time to time.
👉 Your  partner’s imperfections.
We all have different backgrounds and upbringings. It is only natural to act different especially when we’re coming from different origin. Therefore, we must learn to manage imperfections of our would-be spouses. This is important. Your would-be spouses weakness could be jealousy. If she's/he’s willing to genuinely work on it, you help him/her BUT do not marry him/her YET if you’re not sure it has been worked on completely.

👉Your not in a relationship to be too careful
Yes, it is good to apply caution while dealing with a new partner. However, being too meticulous may present you as being fastidious. When you send the wrong signal showing that you’re uneasy to please, a reasonable partner (potential spouse) may either  think you are still being haunted by your past or you’re considering others who may be his rival. This may push him away.

👉 It is not a vengeful agreement
Your new partner is not here to pay for the sins of all the bad ones you’ve dated. Treat everyone the way they present themselves.

Carefully understand that you will neither create nor birth your own spouse. Therefore, you should learn to work with your spouse to achieve your desired goals in your marriage.

© Moses Okere
2018.