Growing up,I never heard the phrase “open relationship “, it was either you were in a relationship or not. It is saddening when people tell you “it’s complicated” when you ask about their relationship. These phrases are “catch phrases” when you narrow down the underlying reasons people, most especially women, go into the business of baby mama.
Seven reasons justifying the growth rate of baby mamas abound. These reasons are discussed within the scope of what obtains in a sub-region of the sub-Saharan region of Africa—Nigeria.
1. Sexual Exchange for Money
This sounds like prostituting. Yes! It somewhat seems so. Nowadays, it is difficult to be in a relationship without asking for sex. This is because most women need money and most men need sex. Relationships these days are nothing short of sexual agreement between a man and a woman. If you refuse to have your fair share in terms of sex as a man in a relationship, you’re seen as a first class fool among your friends.
Women want to be treated like queens. However, most men fear the fact that they might not be the king in their women’s lives. Most women also fear the “hit and run” men. Therefore, the exchange of money for sex has dominated the relationship discourse.
Love is relative. The definition of love is now gradually advancing to exchange of money for sex. When the contract of sex for money is lost, and the product of the transaction is a baby, then there is separation. People go to court for child support.
2. Real Life Pornography
Everywhere, on the streets of major cities, even villages, in Nigeria is littered with indecent and provocative dressing. Most ladies are going completely nude and men are becoming completely insane. Things that used to be on the TV screens are now in the full glare of the streets. This certainly leads to increase in sexual urge, not love, and people have sex recklessly. When they have money to spend and there is an available sexually inclined lady, unprotected sex takes place leading to unwanted pregnancy. It is important to state that unwanted pregnancy becomes wanted when the man involved is rich.
3. Rate of Heartbreak
There’s no gainsaying that the rate of heartbreak is growing across the world. So many people have subscribed to baby mama enterprise as they’ve experienced failed relationships.
Some persons who love to the extent of going the extra mile for their partners submit themselves to pregnancies so as to be associated with the one they love. They want to bear children for the ones they love. They want their children to be of the blood of their partners. Oftentimes, they are disappointed. Their partners end up breaking their hearts, leaving them with their babies.
4. Gender Equality
The message of gender equality should be preached with careful efforts taken in order to restore sanity in our homes. Misleading messages of gender equality have caused total breakdown of order in various families. It is true that men abuse their privileges but it is advisable to not preach the message of gender equality with the aim of causing commotion in families,unknowingly. Every man needs his wife to be submissive. Even though, some men have abused their privileges as men, it is important to state clearly that when a home is headed by two persons, there’s bound to be commotion due largely to clash of interests. Yes, every man and woman should be accorded equal opportunities, equal rights and justices. Nonetheless, this should not be done to the detriment of orderliness, peace and harmony in the family. Most feminists who champion the gender equality course are largely unmarried. Those who are married pay lip services to the course. Check their homes; they are submissive o their husbands.
5. Socioeconomic status
The socioeconomic status of a man is important in every marriage. Some marriages are dissolved today because the men who used to provide for the family no longer do. Their impatient wives may seek a dissolution of the marriages based on irresponsibility. When this happens, the women become a baby mamas; child support becomes the order of the day.
6. Failed Parenting
Some parents fail to teach their children about sex education. In fact, most of the things learnt by their children are things they learnt from their mates. So, they try their hands on so many sexual adventures. The result however is unwanted pregnancy. Therefore, you find a baby mama living with her parents still single; either ready to mingle or searching.
7. Wrong Choice of Partner
The worse thing that can happen to anyone is to be married to the wrong person. The price to be paid is of a lifetime. When a woman marries a man who womanizes, smokes and drinks profusely to the extent that he forgets his responsibilities,she pays for it for the rest of her life. In the days of yore, mothers stayed back in their marriages for the sake of their children. Unfortunately, these days, mothers will run away with their children. It is advisable to run away because it is better to stay alive than to die in a failed marriage. Even if one must pray, one must do that after staying alive. Heaven helps those who help themselves.
Moses Okere
©2018.
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