Recently, it has become a trend that most ladies now wish their mothers-in-law death. Usually, once a man is married, there is expected or envisaged battle of supremacy over who now owns the man—husband to the wife, son to the mother—by both women in his life. Wives argue with an avalanche of logical conclusions as to the fact that their husbands now have immediate family responsibilities to attend to.
A quick survey from an online feedback discussions generated on the The Cupids WhatsApp group gave these very interesting responses:
MOTHER-IN-LAW ISSUES
I’ve actually heard ladies saying they wish their mothers-in-law were dead so as to avoid having “mother-in-law issues”. And that's really soooooo bad☹☹.
Most guys going into marriage are ignorant of something: if your fiancée doesn't have a good relationship with her mother, don’t expect her to have a good relationship with your mother.If the lady is not treating her mother right, she can't treat her mother-in-law right…. It's just not possible . That's when she would start preferring that her mother in-law is dead.
I believe marriage is not a child's play. There are some things that should be seriously taken into consideration. Most people overlook it, and say it doesn't matter but it actually does. ~~Chidinma from Owerri.
Chidinma seems to be a non-conformist. She totally disagrees with the inventors of mother-in-law must die theory of marriage. Her reasons are plausible, why should anyone wish to be married to a man whose mother is late in the first place, or at worse, wish her mother-in-law death?
MOTHERS-IN-LAW ARE WITCHES
The first time I heard it I was a teenager. My cousin’s girlfriend said it, that she prayed before she got married her mother-in-law should die. I was shocked to my bones, and she said it in my room. I asked her why, she said, “some mothers-in-law are witches”.
Now, most mothers-in-law are very nice, good and caring while some are actually wicked and manipulative.
We have different types of men:
* Mummies’ boys
* Family bread winners,etc.
Under the family bread winner, we have the one who does the mum's bidding but the one that has a heart of his own, listens to the mum but let's her know his decision is final.
If you get married to family bread winner automatically, to a foolish mother-in-law, she has a competitor especially if the money and things she gets from her son is reducing or not forthcoming; forgetting that the son has more responsibilities trying to build a home and make the new wife comfortable and also recover from the expenses of paying bride price. Not considering all these, some mothers-in-law will visit the son or send a sibling to go find out why the son is “changing”. On getting there, they see lots of changes in the house that involve lots of money and get treated to nice meal. They(the mother’s spies) go back saying the wife Has taken the son from her(the mother). If she's the manipulative type she starts advising the son wrongly, telling him he married the wrong woman.
She schemes her way into collecting money from the son. The wife knowing how they are managing gets angry,if she's the foolish one she starts making unnecessary demand to collect money too. It becomes a war of who will win and who owns the man. He is torn apart,no more peace.
Now if the man dies the wife can have another husband but the mother will never have him back even if he has children.
Brothers advice your mothers,
Daughters tell your mothers the truth.Stop saying is love portion when your brother treats the wife well or buys her a car but if your husband does same is true love. ~~Sylvia from Benin
Wow, quite interesting remark, isn’t it? What Sylvia does realize is the fact that some men are product of the family. Some men went to schools, got their first jobs as a result of family intervention. Wives should learn to apply wisdom in their own interests because whether they like it or not, mothers-in-law will still be the ones wives will turn to when the chips are down. Wives today will be mothers-in-law tomorrow. Wives should know this. What goes around comes around. Sylvia’s cousin’s friend said some mothers-in-law are witches. Well, I wish she doesn’t continue to harbour such thought because it will definitely affect her. I pray her daughter-in-law doesn’t call her a witch.
In the same vein, men should also learn to deal with their wives and mothers on equal balance. Any attempt to treat one better than the other might lead to unnecessary bickering.
They should also find better ways of communicating to their mothers the business of their immediate families. I'm sure the mothers will understand.
MOTHERS-IN-LAW’S INTERFERENCE
Yah, that is because some mothers-in-law can be so difficult. Some always want to interfere in their son's marriage ~~Sthando from Lesotho.
Yes, every woman knows how to protect her own. Before you criticize your mother-in-law,wait until you become one.
AT RELATIONSHIP STAGE
Imagine your girlfriend telling you she wishes to marry a man whose mother is dead when you know your mother is still alive, what would you do? What is she suggesting? For me, it’s a very perfect way of saying "I’m breaking up with you because your mother is still alive."
Finally, whoever invented this mothers-in-law must die theory should be glad she has influenced a lot of women but should also be quick to backtrack because I’m sure she might be a baby-mama, a single lady or an unruly wife, not to mention being a widow.
Mothers-in-law should be prayed for. Attention must be taken as to knowing where not to cross the lines. Wives must strike a balance between their rights and privileges and that if their mothers-in-law. They should treat them as they do their own mothers. Same goes to the mothers-in-law.
Moses Okere
© 2018.
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