Merriam-Webster’s dictionary describes depression as a
psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity,
difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in
appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and
sometimes suicidal tendencies. In the same vein, heartbreak is defined as crushing
grief, anguish, or distress. There is abundantly a feeling of inadequacy after serial
heartbreaks. Heartbreak is a leading cause of depression. It’s a feeling of
disappointment, insignificance, rejection and dejection. It’s like mourning oneself.
After building hopes and aspirations, after sharing lifetime goals with a
partner with hopes that he/she will be in the bigger picture, all of a sudden, everything
you shared is now a dime’s worth of energy and time. Looking back, you regret
ever meeting the heartbreaker.
This article presents simple ways of break out of depression:
1. Break up with yourself.
Yes, I know you must be wondering by now. Breaking up with
yourself is the simplest way of getting healed. At this point, after a serious
heartbreak, you’ve sunk into self-pity, you’re writing your regrets on pieces
of paper whether in your mind or physically, you’ve seen yourself as a mistake.
Yes! Blame it on yourself. It is part of the healing process. After blaming it
on yourself, move on from yourself. Remove pity. Do not pity yourself. Break out
and break away from yourself and re-engage in those things that give you joy. Be
careful, you’re not doing this to further put yourself in danger. Let me quickly note that at this point, some
people resort to smoking, drinking, having reckless sex, excessive clubbing and
unrestrained spending. No, it is a time of assessment. Evaluate yourself. Yes,
you can have fun but you don’t want to overdo it, do you? After all, the
greatest revenge in life is success. You want to succeed, don’t you? Therefore,
you do not want to be a good boy/girl
turned bad. It’s not the end of your life.
2.
Don’t stay alone
This has been overemphasized by several psychologists. Staying
in isolation is dangerous at this time. Remember, you have just broken up with
yourself. It is important that you mingle with others. This will make you
forget about a whole lot of things. People draw energy from people, therefore,
you can draw energy from positive people. These days it is called networking. When
you network, you share business contacts, ideas, knowledge and wise counsel. Please,
be careful not to follow the counsel of one who has been through heartbreaks
and hasn’t been healed, he/she is likely to advise you negatively.
3. Meet people who appreciate you
This is not to say you should go all around the world seeking
validation, no. First of all, you know you’re unique. You may not be tall,
beautiful, handsome or rich, but there’s something unique about you. That quality
of uniqueness, someone needs it. Someone out there needs a unique character
that you possess. I remember, being a short man, my ex was five feet and ten
inches tall, when she broke up with me and went on to date taller men, I felt
inadequate. She didn’t break up with me because of my height, I later realized.
She broke up with me because her mother didn’t like a man from another tribe. Nonetheless,
after her, I met several better ladies who appreciated me the way I am because
of my uniqueness.
4.
Kill
your flashbacks and past imaginations
This is certainly a broad topic, I will write an article on
how to kill ugly flashbacks and imaginations based on popular demand by my
readers. However, I will touch on it. Flashbacks and imaginations creep into
the mind after every heartbreak. In fact, they are the direct reasons people
contemplate suicide. Sometimes, they don’t even leave your mind. Therefore, you
must kill them. One of the fastest ways I discovered is killing imaginations
with imaginations and killing flashbacks with flashbacks. If you could imagine
how he or she could be so sweet, you could also imagine that moment he or she
was a beast. Everyone has a bad part. If you may want to flashback to that
point where he brought a new woman home, where he slapped you because of her;
where she pulled over to show you her new boyfriend and they drove past,
splashing dirty water on you; you can also remember that man/lady would made
you feel special.
5.
Start
afresh
Don’t be too scared to
start afresh. This is
where a lot of people get it wrong. Heartbreak shouldn’t stop you from loving. Make
that mistake but make it count. Start afresh, meet new people. Don’t stay away
from the art of finding love for a long time, you don’t want look like a novice,
do you? I bet you don’t. Therefore, starting afresh avails you the opportunity
to meet more people, know how they think and be well informed and acquainted
with the necessary skills to handle a promising relationship that will lead to
marriage.
Moses Okere
©2018.
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